Worship Part Fouro: The Experience

i have always known that the Lord has not really given me a vocabulary that brings to life what is going on in my heart.  and even if He did, the words that could come from my mouth would have no effect on the hearts of those i speak to in the way i desire to see them moved.  

what brings so much passion and humility  to this heart and at the same time RELIEVES it from the pressure of feeling like IT has to be the thing to change hearts around me is that the Spirit the Lord has left here on earth is the only thing that transforms hearts!  

for this very reason is the reason i LOVE leading worship through music.  everybody knows that music goes deeper than the surface of our ears.  it is an intangible, unexplainable phenomenon that somehow finds its way to the soul of a human being.  like an unseen fragrance to the nose that brings memory, the vibrations of beauty move through the air towards the ears of an individual and begins to vibrate the hardness of a heart to a soft gelatin mold.  WHAT A TOOL THE LORD HAS GIVEN!  

all i can do is exactly what i know how to do in the exact place He calls me to do it.  the rest is His!  all i can do is play the music i know how to with all my heart (for our best is saved for the Lord) and ASK that He might just attach His Spirit to those vibrations and when they hit that individual’s soul, the LORD of hosts may INVADE their heart!

…mmm…how relieving to know that God Himself does the work of the heart…makes it easy to find humility:)

 

this saturday the Lord awakened and fulfilled a desire i have been begging Him to start in me.

 

 

 

From the beginning:  (what you need to know)

:the Lord has been growing our body here in seattle not only through unity and maturity but also in number.  He has given us some key individuals who have had their hearts captured by Himself after being enslaved to YEARS of living on the streets in need of addictions and full of pride and anger towards the world.  He has TRANSFORMED their lives through EXPERIENCING His truth.  the humility, belief and passion the Lord has given these men can now reach areas of the world our body would have never been able to reach.  talk about the beauty of the body and all its needed parts.

 

The Story of Experience:

last sunday after leading worship at our church, nathan (the life transformed from “street-doin’”) came up to me and told me that he had been given a revelation.  he told me that we needed to take that (the music we had just created) and bring it to the streets of seattle.  through growing in a relationship with the Lord and developing a trust with nathan, i have come to know that revelations are a HUGE way the Lord speaks to His people.  i knew in my heart of hearts that the only thing we could do was respond to what the Lord had spoken to the heart of nathan.  

thus, the experience begins…

i threw together all the music i could and brought the vision to a couple other musicians and leaders in our body.  the vision was caught and responded to.  the needed parts of the body to accomplish this vision had been provided.  we had three acoustic guitar player, a drummer, and three leaders who would speak to the people that would come to hear the music.  the goal of the speaking leaders was to offer prayer, bring understanding as to what we were doing and also to speak truth into their lives pertaining to specific areas and the state of heart that needed to be present in order to partake in communion (which is something we also had set up as well).  

we set out as a team late saturday night at about 10pm.  we went to the heart and soul of the city.  the range of diversity was incredible from people headed to the bars, night clubs, homeless people, drug dealers, prostitutes, police officers, backpackers and the list goes on.

we cracked open the guitar cases and from the second we all started WAILING on the guitars, vocal chords and the drum, people started flocking around.  the leaders of our body would begin to converse with individuals and all i saw from my perspective were knees dropping everywhere.  prayer was think in that area.  we had a man that leaned up against a near by post and just stood there in a state of softness taking to heart what the Spirit was speaking to him through the music.  the face of an individual in the process of receiving words from the ONE who reigns in freedom and transforms lives is not only obvious but unforgettable.  a woman all by herself came to one of our leaders and broke down…he spoke truth to her heart and explained the power of communion.  she slowly approached the table picking up the bread and the juice.  her eyes lifted to the music being played in front of her…she then closed them and partook.  

after playing in this one place for an extended period of time we decided to pick up and move to a new location.  we found, yet again, the perfect corner.  we began wailing!  immediately a man dragged his girlfriend over to where we were and began yelling at me.  ”PLAY LOUDER!  SING LOUDER!  LET IT BE FROM YOUR HEART!  THE WORLD NEEDS TO HEAR THIS”.  we had been singing a song that was foreign to him but he attempted to join us at the top of his lungs and through dance with his girlfriend not knowing a single word!  after more knees had been dropping and more partaking had taken place, nathan came up to me and he said, “i think we need to play a song with holy, holy, holy in it”.  i couldn’t think of anything off the top of my head.  BUT then a man walked up to me and asked if i knew how to play a song that went something like, “Lord, open my eyes”.  IMMIDIATELY we started wailing on open the eyes of my heart.  his bottom jaw began drop, his eyes opened and he proclaimed,”…yes…Yes!”  at that moment he stood less than two feet in front of my face and just stared at me in the eyes.  i couldnt help but feel semi awkward, but i felt the Spirit speak to my heart telling me, “look him back in the eyes and do not leave his eyes until he leaves yours”.  i continued to play and sing with all of my heart and shifted my eyes so that they locked with his and held them there with intensity.  …his face softened…tears began pouring as we slipped into the bridge of the song singing, holy, holy, holy…i want to see You.  he turned his head and began doing a dance that almost looked like a dance of speaking in tongues but with his body…so free, and unhindered…like nothing i had ever seen before.  the night continued on…

we moved yet again to a new corner.  this corner was much less populated, but the time was just past 2am and this was the time the bars closed and the people were out.  we were tired.  we just chose a chord progression and just jammed for some time.  people would walk by and just listen.  some groups would act like they were still in the club and be grinding with each other (which im totally cool with…little do they know that they are grinding to the music of Jesus…aww yeah:)  after a few minutes of jamming, we stopped.  a group of three individuals came up to us and told us they wanted to hear something.  the name of one of them (translated from spanish) literally meant Jesus, Son of God.  i told him that this song costs them nothing.  they moved closer almost curious of what was to come after that comment spoken to them with the Spirit in my eyes…you could tell they really wanted to hear.  we played how great is our God.  we sang the words intentionally to the Lord and the second we hit the with HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD at the top of all of our lungs, Jesus, Son of God closed his eyes and said “Oh, LORD!” and raised his hands in a dance that not only moved him but transferred to his friends and they WORSHIPED!! they didnt stop dancing with their hands in the air until the song was done.  when we stopped, he came up to me, put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eyes while dropping his neck to move his head closer to my face and said, “what you are doing in amazing, never stop doing this”.

finally, they left and we began to put our stuff away because the street was becoming silent.  at that moment two girls came up to us and asked if we were playing music.  it was obvious that the one was looking to hear something.  she asked if there was any way she could hear just something.  i opened my case and picked up my guitar.  i walked up close to her and looked her in the eyes and smiled.  i told her we would play one more.  BUT you have to know that this song is totally on us.  ALSO, the one thing i ask of you is this: to LET…let the Lord speak to you through this song.  she kinda smirked and said, “ok”.  it was just my guitar, a drum and all of us singing at the top of our lungs.  we played beautiful one.  i have NEVER worship like i did for that song in my entire life.  i felt the Lord telling me to keep my eyes closed the entire time.  when the song finished, she walked up to me and engulfed me with the biggest hug that i have ever received…and she held me for what seemed forever.  and during that ENTIRE  elongated embrace…she whispered into my ears, “thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you.”  all i could say back was you are welcome as she stepped back and looked me in the eye.  she looked at our entire group with a state of awe and said one last thank you and walked off with her friend.  

 

…nathan came up to me and said to me, “people out here are dying to experience our God…they need freedom…they need truth…life on this planet has nothing to offer and these people desire for Christ to come to them on the street, where they are at…i know because i lived it, i heard it, and i experienced it.”

 

the power of the Spirit through music allows the people of this world to EXPERIENCE Christ.  through experience people come to KNOW and desire life in the full from our Father.

Worship Part Threeo (Pride vs. Glory)

A Man With Leprosy

A man with leprosy came to him (Jesus) and begged him on his knees, “If you are willing, you can make me clean.”  Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!”  Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.

Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning:  ”See that you don’t tell this to anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them.”  Instead he went out and began to talk freely, spreading the news. As a result, Jesus could no longer enter a town openly but stayed outside in lonely places. Yet the people still came to him from everywhere.

                                                                                                                     Mark 1:40-45

…as a worship leader, the stage has this gigantic pendulum swing that has the potential to be of utmost glory to Christ, but like everything else in life also has great potential to TAKE glory from the One who is truly deserving.  at least for me, whenever i see, say, a christian on stage (it is obvious that every christian has their own struggles or “thorns in their sides” if you will), immediately i assume that the struggle of this particular christian must be pride considering he/she is continually the center of attention.  not only is that wrong on my behalf considering I am a worship leader, i desire to lead my family in the purest state of worship and i desire to be looked upon with trust and respect while leading (keeping in mind that the original mindset violates Matthew 7:2 (For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.) which would never allow the above desires to take place) BUT if this is the mindset of me while in a crowd, i cant help but assume that there must be at least one other individual within the crowd that looks upon that same person on stage as i do AND while i am am leading WHICH puts a lot of pressure on the worship leader to be mindful of his/her pride.  …hmm…seems to be exactly opposite to where i desire a night of worship to go. 

in the very first verse given at the top, Jesus heals this man and it is obvious that…well…Jesus did it.  directly after the healing Jesus presents His will to the man.  Jesus seems to have two specific things on His mind that He desires to be a response of this happening (and we may not understand why, but we do KNOW that Jesus’ will is by far the best way).  ONE, He explains that He does not want the man to tell anybody about what just took place, and TWO, He seems to have a very specific priest (maybe priests) on His mind that He wants this man to show His glory to.  the man obviously did exactly opposite of what Jesus warned him NOT to do, but that part is not what i want to write on.  at the moment after the healing and after Jesus delivered His will to the man, i placed myself in that man’s shoes.  (STOP…i will get back to this)

as a worship leaders who know the potential mindsets of their followers, the pendulum of the stage, and our desires to be completely SELFLESS in worship, PRIDE is our biggest fear.  Not only is pride the thing that caused the devil and 1/3 of God’s angles to be cast from the presence of God (which is about the least glory you can bring to Him), BUT as a worship leader on stage, we are completely exposed to a given number of people and if pride were to be revealed…well…that would be detrimental to our reputation and to our ministry.   

 

the theme i seem to be discovering among worship leaders is that they FEAR pride, because of all this.

 

now, satan LOVES fear.  if pride is something you are fearful of having in your life, dont you think satan’s goal of taking your eyes off of Christ could best be achieved by accusing you of being the essence OF pride?  not only would you be doused in guilt, but your spiritual eyes would be completely consumed in the thought of your pride (which would fulfill satan’s desire to take your eyes off of Christ).

 

back to where i stopped when i placed myself in the healed man’s shoes.  Christ showed compassion on me and healed me from leprosy.  right now He just commanded me not to tell anyone, but a specific person(s).  He told me specifically to go and show this priest what He had done to me.  i cant help but think that if i were in the same mindset that i was (fearful of pride), naturally i would feel like this would be a great opportunity for my pride to flourish, or maybe that i would be accused by the great accuser of my pride directly after Christ commanded me to go.  ”well, i dont want to be prideful, so if i stay away from talking about what Christ did to ME, then pride cannot exist in me”.  congratulations david, your ears have yet again managed to tune themselves to the one who lies and by doing so have strayed clear of what could have been a powerful situation considering it was exactly where God wanted you to be which means all scenarios were exactly as they needed to be and the timing was perfect, BUT, hey, at least your pride is safe (whatever that means).

 

AHH!  worship leaders, RISE UP!  take a stand against what is wrong!  if the Lord Himself has called you into a place that leads others to Himself through your presence on stage, through music, or any kind of leadership, than THIS, my friend, is EXACTLY where you are going to be most effective for kingdom growth and where you will bring the most glory to the name of Jesus Christ.  the Lord is ruler of your heart and is the only One who has the ability to bring any kind of growth or transformation to it, so if pride takes any sort of reign in your heart, then it needs to go, BUT you have been given no power to do so.  this means that that area of your heart is already being worked on by the Lord, if you have invited His Spirit into your heart and you are remaining in Him, so there is no need to be mindful of your sin.  He has given us a way to over come evil.  Romans 12:21-Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.  this verse explains that good is the only thing that can overcome evil, and God is the only thing that is good, so if we take our eyes off of what is evil (pride) and place them onto what is good (God) evil naturally flees.  THIS is EXACTLY what worship through music needs to look like.  not worrying about failure, or how your pride has potential to kick in, but to step out onto that stage mindful of your anointing the Spirit has given you, confident that the stage is where the Lord has specifically called you, and prepared to point to Christ in everything.  (Romans 9:17-For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”)  your job is to lead people into His presence.  period.  is that even possible to take someone to a place you dont know how to get to? imagine a place that you LIVE in…you have been there for YEARS…you know it like the back of your hand…you would know how to get there with your eyes closed.  this doesnt come from luck, or hope, or desire…it comes from REMAINING in this home.  if you make Christ your home and remain in Him…to lead people into His presence would be like turning around.  oh…that might be prideful of me to think that I have the ability to lead millions into His presence you say?  deal with it…if the Lord has called me there, He is in me, and i am obedient…i (Christ in me) is unstoppable…that is just how it is.  satan doesnt want us to have the understanding of how powerful we (Christ in us) are when we remain in Him.  dont let him accuse you…allow Christ to change the world through you.

 

my challange to you is this:  to challange eveything you have ever been “taught” in life about church (or anything for that matter) and lean it up against truth (His word) and see if it remains standing.  if it does, walk in it…if it doesnt, turn from it and seek what the truth really is.

 

we only have a given number of days on this planet to Glorify the name of Jesus Christ…there is no time to be thinking about what others may think about what i do or to bask in my own desires.  what if we could remain mindful Christ’s will and could give a rip towards what pleased this body and mind?  what if we were not driven by our emotional and physical “needs”, but were completely driven by what the Lord says to do in His word with the understanding that all the other “needs” are naturally fulfilled through doing so?  dont just read this.  think about it and ask the Lord to challenge you…if you dare…

 

thats the beauty of a leader driven by Christ…

How Bad Do You Want It?

Mark 1:35- Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed.

Here is what the Lord spoke to me the second my eyes hit this verse.

…you continually speak to me begging Me to give you truth, and to fill you with My Spirit so that through you I can change the world…how bad do you want it? How Bad Do You Want It?  HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT!?  I desire to give you these things more than you desire to receive them.  the amount you are willing to RUN after Me, sacrifice your time, your energy, your sleep, your eating, your LIFE, that is how much more I will fill you with My Spirit.  you want it?  then I beg YOU child…TAKE IT WITH EVERYTHING YOU ARE!  this is where the extremist in you is allowed to take over…I want your life…meaning I want you to think of every possible thing that exsist in you, around you or is associated with you in any way and I want you to seek new ways of finding how that area can glorify My Son Jesus Christ’s name more.  it’s time.  you notice evil anywhere…TURN from it, because it is weak.  period.

Worship Part Tuo

the very first time “worship” is mentioned in the bible is in the story of Abraham’s test; when the Lord calls him to sacrifice his son to the Lord.  (Genesis 22)

 

a question has been raised in my head in relation to this chapter pertaining specifically to the meaning of worship.  

 

the Lord calls abraham to sacrifice his son (his only son) to Him as a burnt offering.  abraham begins to prepare everything to do as the Lord said.  he gets up early the next morning and saddles the donkey, calls two servants and his son to come with him and as soon as he has cut enough wood for the offering, he then sets out to the place the Lord calls him to go.

 

now, here is the part that seems to put a glitch in everything i have ever been told worship is:

 

“He (Abraham) said to his servants, ‘Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there.  We will worship and then we will come back to you.’” (Genesis 22:5)

 

here is my dilemma:  we are told that everything we do in a day has the potential to be worshipful to the Lord if we allow it to be.  if that is the case, then one would think that everything abraham did early in the morning to prepare for his sacrifice to the Lord and all the traveling that took place to get to the specific spot that the Lord had called him to, would and should be included in Abraham’s daily worship.  BUT, abraham seems to state that his worship (sacrificing his son) is something that is separate from everything else he had accomplished in the past three days of preparation and travel.  

 

it makes me think that maybe the actual word, “worship”, should be approached as something a little more “set apart”.  maybe everything we do in life has all potential to bring all kinds of pleasure and glorification to the Father and His Son’s name, Jesus Christ, (which is were our act of continual “giving our lives to Him” takes place) but worship…mmm…maybe this is something we specifically set apart in our day to JUST seek His face.  the Lord calls us to continually be mindful of Him, which tells me that we can be completely aware of His will, His desires, where He is working, what He wants us to be doing that can further glorify Him while we are doing ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.  but maybe, just maybe, worship doesn’t take place through the “middle-man” things in our lives, but it is a DIRECT, “I am here to be WITH God”.  

 

just a thought…i am still seeking the truth behind it.

Worship Part Uno

Colossians 3:16

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

 

Why sing praise?  this is a question i still have yet to answer in full, especially to those who do not belong to the Lord.  

lets take this verse backwards…

 

“with gratitude in your hearts to God”:

i get the feeling that this verse is saying that that gratitude is there already- that gratitude is in your heart, now present it to God.  not that it has always been there or that it is just there because, but that it was put there the day He allowed us to understand that life is completely about Him.  and anything that we have ever been given by God must always be given back to Him…meaning that He was the One who gave us this gratitude and now in order to give it back the natural way our hearts respond is through singing praise.  in other words our praise through music should not be a chore or tradition, but a response due to the way the Lord is moving in our lives.

 

“sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs”:

first off, it doesnt mention any instruments.  not that they cant be there, because i truly believe that an instrument is a powerful tool that assists in the singing of praise, but i am just saying…instruments are not a necessity.  interesting.  it is as if our voices alone are the instrument of choice by God.  secondly, these are the things it says to sing:  psalms, hymns and spiritual songs.  just so everybody knows…that pretty much classifies everything under the sun.  In other words, the Lord desires our voices genuinely responding in praise to Him for what He has done, is doing and is yet to do in any key, any pitch, and any rythm because what makes a song of praise to the Lord is, and has always been, the authentic state of a heart(s) loving Him through proclamation.   

 

“you”:

hmm.  Paul is not writing to an individual, thus the “you” he is referring to is not a singular, but a plural.  i am not saying that it cannot be “you” as an individual, but in this case Paul is writing a letter to the town and the church of Colosse (which is made up of more than one person fyi:).  i dont understand this in full, but i do know that there has always been power in the masses under unity, no matter who they consider their authority.  now, take a body of literal Spirit-filled people, bring them together, and allow the Spirit (who has already filled these people) to unite them under His authority.  that is the kind of body that has the power to change the world…literally.  not only is it naturally powerful due to its number, but keep in mind it is lead (in perfect unity) by the all powerful world-changer Himself.  in other words-unstoppable. 

 

“as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom”:

notice here, teaching and admonishing one another are directly paralleled to singing praise to God.  to be honest, i am not exactly sure what that means, but, as a worship pastor, i feel it shows me that the teaching and the admonishing of one another is of equal importance to the worshiping of the Lord through song in relation to the word of Christ dwelling in us.  in other words, the word of Christ dwelling in us is of utmost importance because His words are our weapon of choice in every battle we encounter, thus singing praise to Him is (for reasons i still dont fully understand) of utmost importance.  

 

“the word of Christ dwell in you richly”:

to me, this is saying that the word of Christ dwelling in us is an outcome of the two things listed above.  meaning that the word of Christ dwelling in us IS what happens when we partake in teaching and the singing of praise to God.  and it doesnt just happen…it happens RICHLY.  in other words, the most powerful weapons (besides God Himself), Christ’s words, are dwelling (definition of dwelling: living permanently) in us as we worship the Lord through song, thus creating in us a nature of literal un-defeat, thus bringing the most possible glory to the name of Jesus Christ.    …i think i just gained some understanding in the importance of worshiping the Lord through song.  

 

“Let”:

finally, the word let.  in other words, everything we just discussed up above naturally takes place when we partake in the singing of praise to our Creator, but the one thing that can taint this natural process is our ability to deny permission of Christ’s words dwelling in us.  i get this picture of Paul begging us to just LET it happen.  dont worry that it may not happen or think that we must have to do more to make it happen…just…let…it…happen.  Christ’s words through Paul are true, so we should just believe them.  Let God do what He does best…everything.  

 

in conclusion:

worshiping the Lord through music is of UTMOST importance…amen?!

The Golden Post

so today i turned 23.  a normal number you may say but 23 to the life of an individual whos birthday lands on the 23rd day of any given month (specifically october because that is mine) marks a post in life that happens once and only once (unless you are those people who consider the single digit days to be also doubled thus possibly giving 3 golden posts EX:  november 1st- turning 1, 11, and 111…lame…i know).  someone asked me the other day if i was excited that my golden birthday was coming up.  it thought about it, looked at them and told them that i honestly thought that the day would never come.  i thought for sure either Christ would come back or i would accidently die from some act of proving my man-hood.  

 

anyways…it is an important day.  i remember being younger and trying to fathom what i would be like on that day.  would i be a lot taller?  would i be married?  how hott would i be?  little did i know that from then until now, God (the Creator of everything i see) would speak to my heart, thus radically change what i would hope to be like at this time in life and later on.  

 

at 5 years old, the name Jesus Christ clicked in my heart in a way that i didnt comprehend so much, but i could recognize that it was set apart from all other names for a reason i did not know.  the guy up front at church asked anyone if they would like to ask Jesus into their hearts.  confused, and yet drawn to it like ice-cream, i brought the question home to my dad.  ”how and why do i ask Jesus into my heart”?  simply enough, he explained it to me in a way that made perfect sense…david, it is like an oil change in the car…you take out all the old oil so you can put brand new oil into the car.  at 5 years old, everything clicked.  there was a substance in our human bodies that we could not live without and that substance NEEDED to be Jesus Christ.  ”Jesus, i want new oil”.  simple.

 

at 16, i was invited to a church camp that i absolutely loved because there was an abundance of girls that were quote unquote christians and totally dug quote unquote christian guys.  after being drawn back there a second year, i would always sit in the back because the talk was lame, and i had to sustain my cool level.  the speaker started speaking words that i had hear before, but for some reason, this time they meant something to me.  he said that EVERYONE no matter what would someday stand before the KING of kings (the Judge) and be…well…judged.  the speaker asked us, “what if you were to die tonight, and you had to walk directly up to Jesus and He asked you, “what have you done for Me?”, how would you respond?  i remember my world crashing down…nothing…i realized i asked Him to come in, but my life was still my own.  

 

at 21, i had just finished my freshman year in college.  i came home for the summer so i could work in the mill (HELL).  depression, heaviness, stale-life was abundant.  it was so much so that i knew i needed to talk to someone because my life right now was not safe left to itself.  so i called some of my friends hoping i could just spill my guts.  not a single friend even picked up their phone.  so i began to call friends of friends.  still no one.  my brothers were gone somewhere and my last resort were my parents who were sitting outside on the porch.  i stepped out about ready to burst out into tears on someone.  i told them that something was wrong in my life and that i think i needed help.  they asked me if it dealt with work and i told them partially.  they gave me the best advice i could have ever received…”you’ll get through it”…they both stood up and told me they were heading to bed.  as soon as that door clicked shut, my knees literally gave out.  i hit the ground hard…it was like my knees represented everything in my life…and they broke.  i was whaling and MY strength was no more.  at that moment my eyes were drawn up towards the clear diamond sky by what seemed to be a hand under my chin.  these words where spoken directly to me and i will never forget them…they said: “I am the only thing that matters”.  what those words carried were far more than some letters…the deep heavy staleness felt like a wave just washed it completely out.  from that moment on, i knew who i was and life (praise the Lord) is not about me at all.

 

my passion and my relationship with the Lord started.  it has been everything i needed.  He didnt call me to be the nicest guy i could possibly be.  He didnt call me to get the best looking wife and an awesome paying job to support her.  He didnt call me to write sweet music to get peoples feet tappin’  He called me to Him.  in finding that He holds everything that i need and everything that i am truly meant to be, the definition of what a man looks like at 23 years old is…different.  He moves me, He draws me, He inspires me, He feeds me, He clothes me, He loves me…as a verb.  through that i cant help but hope He has used me and will be using me to do the same to His people.  

 

here i stand at 23.  the Lord has uprooted me from the midwest, planted me in a city that needs to be moved, drawn, inspired, fed, clothed and loved as a verb, and has called me to be a part of a church that is under the Head of Christ to do so.  He has called me to put a group of musicians together that put themselves under the authority of Christ and His words, and allow Him to create exactly what He desires to create so He can speak to exactly who He wants, how He wants and when He wants, thus His POWERFUL will being accomplished as He desires (which i might add is the most effective way to further the Kingdom).

 

so to answer myself…

 

self…i am still pretty short, i am far from being married, but through what the Lord has done in my life and the way He has made me into a MAN, baby i am as hott as i can be.  

 

22 years complete and are now behind…thank You JESUS!  23+ here i freakin come ready to take on the world for the Glory of Christ!

A World Not For Us

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you.  As it is, you do not belong to thing world, but I have chosen you out of the world.”

John 15:16,19

 

david…you DO NOT belong to this world.  I have literally chosen you to be known as “My own”, to be established under My name, Jesus Christ, so that you, from now on, belong to no other than the Lord.

you DO NOT belong to this world.  therefore you DO NOT belong to the drive of lust or the magnetism of the male eye to adultery of the mind.  you are Mine, therefore the magnetism I create between us is of utmost dominance and has no place being compared.  you belong to Me.

you DO NOT belong to this world.  thus you DO NOT belong to the desire of self.  the desire for self is a lye that is being fed to you daily.  you DO NOT get to choose wether to feast on it or not.  it is of the world; you belong to Me and I always win.

you DO NOT belong to this world.  for that reason, you DO NOT get to choose who you are enslaved to.  you are Mine; you are My slave.  you can be told otherwise.  the truth is: I chose you, you are now of Me, and I ALWAYS win.

you DO NOT belong to this world.  DO NOT offend my authority.  I will crush what hinders you from remaining in Me for my jealousy BOILS towards the illusion of chains.  I give understanding.  understand this: you are Mine; I ALWAYS win.

Visions to Change the World

what seems like forever now, my mind has been infatuated with the thoughts of changing the world through music…but not only music…the power of Christ in a team of musicians that allows Him to pierce hearts through every swing of a wrist, every strum of a guitar, every word that pours from their mouth and every move their bodies make.

after being in breathe III for about a year (halfway through college) thoughts began stirring in me that seemed so radical at the time, so far out there and at the same time almost not matching my “natural” thoughts…it was almost as if this thought had been planted there…say…a vision?  i dont know…but it was so consuming so overwhelming that the thought couldnt help but grow and become more detailed and intricate.  the very core of the thought was this:

to start a music worship team that would be dedicated to each other as a family and dedicated to the glorification of our Father through music no matter what the cost.  on top of that, releasing a CD that had the ability to proclaim my faith to family and friends who may not have known i had it.  (almost like a much larger scale baptism of proclamation)

long story short, the Lord had plopped an unmistakable team into my lap that more than paralleled my “thoughts” by being given the opportunities to lead church services, conferences, put on shows and in the process piercing the hearts of the people that hear and see, opening the eyes of the actual team to the Christ-like care we developed for each other, and the Spirit piercing our own hearts through our words and dedication to Him.   and heck, He just had to throw in a professionally recorded CD, our proclamation of our faith, that touched the ears of every one of my extended family members and, what seemed to be, every single friend (even ones i didnt know i had

the Lord works in mysterious ways…after all that infatuation, the Lord went much past “above and beyond” and now that “thought” is done.  the thing that scares me and much intrigues me is the new “thought” that has been planted into my head…one that changes the world…

it is a thought of developing my leadership in a way that starts and ends under the submission of Christ, that has the ability to put together a team of utmost excellence in what goes far beyond music (a team dedicated to the Messiah’s growth within us as a body, dedicated to their own personal integrity due to the time spent with and under the name of Christ Jesus, possessing a  reckless  abandoned  nature in them for a cause they would give their lives for, and believing that they are a part of something that is in the process of changing the world and nothing less), developing a community of song-writers in which to create an environment that proclaims the very words that Christ Himself has put in us and that we (as a community) so desperately desire to present to Him on the behalf of “us” (not “i”), developing an environment that continually (like “thought one”:)…) pierces the hearts of anyone who sees, hears, touches, tastes, or smells the aroma of Christ Himself as He is unleashed through our movement as a body, the sound ways that move through the air and the sight of words sculpted by truth, and last (and certainly not least…and just for now) being given the ability to create an environment that freakin’ knows how to celebrate God…PERIOD.  salvation, glory and power belong to our God!!  im up for looking like a fool for that!

anyways…wow it is easy to be passionate about that…it felt good to type that:)  like the first “thought”, i stand here at a point that seems light years away from that and almost (i said almost not is) impossible.

i have much growth needing to take place…wow…yeah a lot (as i look back on what i just wrote above)

Father…i heard a line today in a song at a coffee house today…it was this: “if the world is ever going to change we need to love like crazy”.  Lord, that line sums up that passion you have created within my heart, for You, that just plain needs to be unleashed to the full.  man, i have no idea as to what this is supose to look like, and honestly it scares the shit out of me.  the distant vision that You have given me has no in between…it has “the end” and, i think what to be, one half-inch step in front of me.  Lord, my eyes are glued to that half-inch step and they want it so much to be farther than that so what i am asking is that You give me patience…and in this time, build my trust in You and may my faith, perseverance, self control, and dedication become and go far beyond what i see or feel but what i KNOW FOR FACT!  may my infatuation for time with You and Your words to my heart increase to the point where it hurts (ya know…where there is no other word but…uuuhhhmmmmaaAAAHH!!)  may my heart be given a better understanding as to why my King must be glorified and what that looks like in my life and the world around me.  Lord, take this vision, for it is already Yours…and may i submit it in full to Your authority…may what i do, not only in the vision but in everything, ACT upon the FACT that it is under the authority of Christ…Father…now i ask all this to You only because You have given me the ability to do so through Your Son…it is in that name, Jesus Christ, that i ask these things…

amen

Desperate for His Glory

Father,

i sit here in a state of absolute brokenness.  ever since the beginning of my college experience, i had laid eyes on this girl, fell i love with her passion for the world, dedicated myself in prayer for her…just so that she might experience a taste of what it feels like when the Lord says her name to her.  Father, i have spent endless nights on my knees for her…countless tears have been shed for just the hope that someday she may know You as my heart knows You…i have asked over and over and over again that You might just say the word…that one word that completely encompasses ones entire being thus radically transforming them for eternity.  Lord, it feels like You haven’t even whispered to her, turned in her direction, or reached out Your hand to just graze that one area within her that holds her heart…part of me wants to scream at You…i am furious!  what is the point of evangelism…why even try…why are there some people that i could look at and say “poop” and their entire being has been shook by the Creator of the universe, where there are others whom i have pored my life into for years and it seems the same as it was in the beginning??  part of me just wants to be so mad at You for that…but the deepest part of me says this:

 

awe……..my God……..Your hand is of utmost beauty……..Your patients and timing brings nations to their knees…….Your words are literally food that fills my stomach…….she is now out of my hands…….for distance has placed up a wall that forces me to say “Lord….she is not mine….Father….may….she….be….Yours………

 

Lord, as i was drowning in the depths of her eyes last night saying goodbye, knowing that i had to hold my tongue for the sake of Your glory, and yet still spitting out little morsels of shit that turned her eyes toward my selfish desires, i got a glimpse of where my heart needed to be for You.  literally, everything else in the world just seems dry…things that used to get my heart soaring with joy, my heart just sort of says “…meh…” to.  the sweetest of sweet has lost its taste…the highest of heights feel like im standing on a stool…the only thing my heart finds utmost desire in is within the placement of her presence………….Father, i understand that i am so blind at this point, but Lord, i have never experienced that kind of utmost passion for You, and Lord, my mouth salivates in desiring what i have for her to be transferred to what i have for You….

 

….i get sick to my stomach just thinking about what is to come…to leave behind what seems to be everything i want for something that seems so bland at this moment just doesn’t seem very logical.  i stand at a point where i am faced with the extremity of surrendrence…it sounds like i have gone back to high school…you’d think a man that has known the unfathomable freedom of the Lord would not allow himself to step into a position where i stand right now, that he would desire to protect his heart for the Lord over everything…but here i am.  

 

Lord, how does my heart go from having complete joy in knowing that my heart is Yours and Yours alone for eternity, that just the thought of even brining someone into my life to “distract” my eyes from Your glory was completely absentto the brush of a woman’s touch seeming to complete impair my thought process…everything on the outside looks like I am a man who has God given self control, a heart that desires His will over EVERYTHING, like I am “a man after God’s own heart”…but everything on the inside laughs at the irony…..

 

Father…I hate saying this…but I KNOW it is truth…You see the greater picture…You know my desire better than I know my own which just sickens me…Your timing, Your purpose, when You work and when You don’t, how You move, when You speak, when You soften hearts and when You harden hearts is of utmost perfection.  You are perfection itself.  and if my words mean anything to You anymore…forgive me for allowing the eyes of my heart to be distracted by a “thing that shines”…forgive me for not protecting my heart…forgive me for not protecting hers…forgive me for not trusting You, for not having faith in You, for not giving You complete surrendrence, for not desiring You glory over everything…..Father, i love You…please teach me to surrender the things above to You…please please please give me a heart that gets sick to its stomach in the absence of Your presence like it does for Your daughter above.  Christ…….teach this heart what it means to literally be desperate for Your glory……

 

mmm…..i place these words and ask these things under the name of Christ….

 

dvic 

He is Begging to Move

this last weekend, i was asked to go out for dinner with one of my best friends. it is always hard for me to meet with this person because my heart wants her to know the Lord in the most authentic way so badly, but at the same time it shares a desire that wants to see he come to the Lord so that it might have the same passion as hers and thus be able to have her as “my own”…

ive come to a point where my heart so badly wants to see the will of Christ in the world around me that my physical body has done everything it can. my heart by nature, is an activist heart…it finds something out that will honor the Lord and it will do that particular thing to the extreme. the last couple weeks i got big time burned. my body was giving out on things it hadent for for years, my mind was lingering places it hadent been for years. my heart was crying out to the Lord, “WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?? I WANNA SEE MY HEART CHANGE SO BAD, I WANNA KNOW YOU SO BAD, I WANNA HAVE A HEART THAT IS AUTHENTICALLY PURE IN THE EYES OF YOU! WHAT CAN I DO?”

that was the problem…the change in my heart isnt under my control…it has come to a point were there is nothing i can do. the authentic change in heart can only come from our creator…i had to give it up, i had to let go, i had to say that i am embarassingly asking YOU to change my heart because i have been “doing” it for too long…i want that truly pure heart that i hear about in Your word, but it isnt going there unless You do something…im sorry…

the next day was the day i was meeting this girl for dinner…Lord, You know where my heart usually goes when i am with this girl and i am really good and making it look authentic on the outside, but You really know what it looks like, and i know You want this girl to know Your heart, and the deepest part of me wants that too, but i need You to make that part over take any other part in my heart and to view her heart the way You see it, because i am lost as to how to do that…and i cant…

i met her at 5 for dinner. we ended up staying until 9:15. wow…for about 2 hours we had been catching up on life and everything that came with it. it was great! the next two hours the Lord had put my heart in a position it had never seen before. it sounds so cleche, but i could see that the Lord wanted this girl to know Him. thats it. the conversation took a turn and i found myself telling her something that i dont tell many people…how the Lord caught my heart. in other words, i shared the deepest part of me that makes my life what it is…it was so intense. i was in awe…she was in awe…both of us new we had entered into a conversation that was powerful and scary. she had many questions about my life that i didnt have answers to, she had many points in her life that turned her away from ever wondering if there were a God who cares…i did too, the conversation was intense and yet seemed to be in complete control, almost as if it were a story line that had been leading to an awesome conclusion.

i asked her if she had ever prayed. she said she kinda had, but it was ocward, like she didnt have the word that He would ever understand. she said she liked to think about the people she loves and wish they could have what they need to have a life of fullfilment. she said that was almost her form of prayer, even though she didnt really know where to direct it. i had the opportunity to explain to her that scripture (or God) actually says not even to use words in prayer if they arent nessesary. that means this God that it is talking about can actually read your mind, or feel what your heart feels or can sence what your mind is trying to spit out but doesnt have the capability of doing…wow…she seemed releived, intreaged, and almost in agreement.

i encouraged her to talk to Him in the way that she feels comfortable with, in a way that she would talk to me. i encouraged her to ask Him who He really is, what He wants, if You are really my creator, do You want to know me? things like that, just to be real with Him and to ask Him to respond to her in a way that her heart would understand…she kinda paused for a second…looked up at me…very slowly she said……”yeah…i can do that”.

shortly after that she began to feel so bad for keeping me four hours. it was hilarious. at that moment, before we left, i felt the Lord asking me to pray with her. i, very…mmm, how do i say, pissing my pantsly, ask her if i could invited her into something that i do every day. she said sure. i asked if i could hold her hands being sure to explain, and asking her to understand my motives in doing so…yes, she said…she put our her arms over the table, palms facing up, and i put my finguretips directly over hers. i took a breath, and began to talk to the Lord like i always do. adressing Him as Father, i thanked Him for the past four years for my relationship with her, i thanked Him for the heart that He created in her (exactly how it was meant to be) and i ask Him that if He were truly the God that that bible says He is, that You might touch her heart in a way that she would know and understand who You are…i could tell she agreed with me…in Christ’s name we ask these things Lord…amen.

i looked up at her…she took about two seconds to look back up at me…she said very slowly…thank you…

immediatly afterward, she began to explain to me that she has always had a crush on me because everything i do in life is adorable (she meant selfless:)) and she said she has always known that i stuggled with that as well for her, but she never really understood why i didnt respond to it…she basically told me she thinks she understands why i dont respond…you want me to know the Lord more than you want me for yourself…

and at that moment for the first time in my life…it was true. it was as if the Spirit Himself was staring us both dead in the eyes. “I am the only thing that matters”.

Lord…may You forgive my heart for where it has been, and may you continue to make it pure when You look at it. may this girls heart be absolutly captivated by who You are and Your presence…may You please please please protect her from the evil one, and may YOU and YOU ALONE open the eyes of her heart so that she may see You for who You really are. in Christ’s name…amen.